Eat!
by HeavenlyHunny
Summary: He'd hold her there. He'd shove the food down her throat if he had to. No matter how much she yelled and kicked against her restraints. She was the size of a stick, goddamnit. He wasn't about to let the only thing he cared for in this world starve herself to death.


The clock ticked, signaling the passing of another hour. An hour he'd spent sitting in the same chair, at the same table, staring menacingly at the girl sitting across from him.

It'd been a while since she'd looked up at him. When they'd first sat down all those hours ago, she'd been visibly defiant. Letting our sighs and pouting in his directions, making it clear to him that she'd rather be anywhere else.

As much as it hurt him to watch her discomfort, he refused to let her up from the table.

He felt like a father, despite being only 18, disciplining a defiant child who didn't want to eat his or her vegetables.

But this was more than the usual "not wanting to consume the odd-smelling brussel sprouts" situations. If anything, he'd be glad if she turned her nose up to the vegetable, as long as she thoroughly enjoyed her meat and potatoes. But that was just the problem...

She wouldn't eat.

It wasn't just the refusal of her leafy greens, it was the refusal of everything.

She was starving herself...because of him.

He hadn't caused it on purpose, of course. She was the most exquisite thing he'd ever laid eyes on, perfectly fine with every element of her small being.

But it didn't stop her from taking notice of their odd and unexpected situation. Their families existed and operated on opposite sides of a messy organization and, in childish teenage terms thrown around the training school, he was simply more "popular" than she was.

It seemed ridiculously juvenile to him. He was only deemed this way due to his looks, which he himself could admit were quite superior. But if it came down to any other aspect, he barely ever crossed anyone's mind. His family were members of the defected side and the other brats in school probably already didn't trust him when it came to volunteer business, even though he himself hadn't done anything...yet.

But he had been quite successful when it came to girls, if you consider success as several hookups and two failed relationships. He'd always viewed himself as more of a bachelor, only getting into relationships when he found a girl's body good enough to keep her around for a while. He had no problem getting women, but they never seemed to stay.

Not that he wanted them too.

To him, they were exhausting. Always angry. Always complaining. Always doing something to annoy him.

He always found them the most attractive when they weren't speaking, except for in bed.

His past relationships had been so unimportant to him that he didn't even recognize one when they ran into each other one day. It'd infuriated the girl, but it barely phased Olaf at all.

Besides, he had "her" now...

Kit had taken him by surprise in many ways. He'd just come out of a relationship with...whatever her name was...and he certainly wasn't looking to be in another one. Especially not with her.

Yes, they were technically on the same side of V.F.D. He was still in training, which still made him a volunteer, but their families were still at each other's throats just as the Montagues and Capulets were.

He already found her siblings, especially Lemony, to be quite annoying. Always correcting his grammar and acting as if they knew more than him. It hadn't been hard at all to hate the Snicket brothers.

But, then there was Kit. His darling girl.

He didn't really know why he'd pursued her. Maybe for the pride of it all. Getting to say that he'd been with the daughter of his sworn enemies. The reason had been unclear to him then, and even more now that he'd become so fond of her.

He didn't expect to fall in love with her so quickly. But, at the same time, how could he not? There was so much to love about her. The way her brow furrowed when she read a passage in a book that interested her quite a bit, and the way she looked up at him with those big, bright eyes through her thick black-rimmed glasses. He wished he could see more of those things.

But it was becoming more difficult. Just as soon as they'd gotten together, the problems started.

He'd had to corner her in order for her to even listen to him when he'd confessed his love for her. Even then, she'd very shyly accepted his offer for a date. He'd tried to tell her many times before, sometimes through subtle hints and others through quite blatant techniques, but she'd always find a way to change the subject.

She'd always reply to him with the same thing. Claiming that she was too ugly to ever be loved by anyone.

He'd gotten used to hearing it from her, but the first time he had caught him by surprise. He didn't think much of it at first, knowing that girls tended to be quite self degrading, whether they actually believed those things about themselves or not.

But Kit was a different story.

Every other sentence out of her mouth was some kind of insult toward her being. The being that he cherished and admired so much.

And it took several of his associates to explain to him why she had become so critical of herself. Ernest had even laughed when Olaf confided that he didn't understand why she couldn't acknowledge her own beauty.

Apparently it was quite clear to everyone else that Kit felt herself "unworthy", to put it selfishly, of being with Olaf.

Don't get him wrong, the girl was definitely aware that she was quite a bit smarter and more skilled than he, but for some reason it was her looks that plagued her mind.

Olaf was sure that these "issues" had been occurring already, before they became each other's. This wasn't something to develop overnight, even if the relationship had escalated some of it.

She'd always worn long sleeves and skirts around him and, even though he longed and ached to see more of her body, he hadn't made note of it being odd.

But, sure enough, watching her read behind a bookcase one day, he'd seen her roll up her sleeves to reveal valleys of red marks traveling up her arm. It'd taken him a minute to process what they were, but once he did, he didn't skip a beat in confronting her about it.

He probably could've handled the situation better. He'd begun shouting in the library, receiving several shushes from other occupants, and had pulled her out by the arm, causing a bit of a scene. Kit cried the whole time, alternating between looking at him with those big, sad eyes and avoiding eye contact with him completely.

Yes, some of the cuts looked fresh, as if she'd made them not long ago, but others looked dark and old, like they'd been made quite a while before. This definitely wasn't a habit she'd just begun. It'd been happening for a while, which is why Olaf has gotten so angry. How dare she disrupt the beautiful smoothness of her skin?

After he'd calmed down some, he'd taken the time to observe her more. He ran his finger lightly over the cuts and simply asked "why?".

He felt himself blink away tears then and Mande note of the fact that he'd never cried for another person in his life.

"Because everyone else is burdened by my existence," she'd replied, her voice quiet. However the words flowed out easily, signaling that she truly believed these things.

"How dare you say such a thing?" Olaf growled in response, balling up his fists and staring accusingly into her eyes, which was difficult with her looking down into her lap.

"I always let everyone down. My parents, my brothers, all of our associates...I never do anything right. I'll never be a good enough volunteer. Everyone would be better off if I weren't here," she'd continued, her voice losing more and more volume as she went on.

"Don't you dare say such ridiculous things.

"Everyone would be better off if I weren't here?" Nonsense! You're the only thing I have in this world. I can't speak for your associates, but I can speak for myself and, reluctantly, your family, and I guarantee you we need you here," Olaf huffed, his body beginning to tremble, although he didn't know why.

"Don't be ridiculous, Olaf," Kit mumbled, "my brothers will always be better than I. And you, well you are stuck having to be seen with me, when you could be with someone much more attractive."

"Dammit Katherine! I don't want anyone else!" He'd snapped, "I was the one to ask you to be mine, for Christ's sake! Why would I then go find another?!"

"I would, if I were forced to be around me all the time. I'd try to escape looking at my own being if I could," Kit said, beginning to weep, "I've tried to..."

Olaf took a moment, having been made speechless by her words. He simply stared at her, his darling. He was being torn apart inside, although he didn't show that to her.

He didn't get it. Why didn't she understand how much she meant to him? She was his whole world now. He'd been so unattached to everyone else he was surrounded by. Not a single volunteer he deemed worthy enough, he steered clear of them just as much as they steered clear of him.

Kit was all he had.

He'd isolated himself from everyone else, not that he'd spent much time with them anyways, and really only ever hung around her these days. She was all he had...and all he wanted.

He sat up on his knees and brought her into a tight embrace, eventually lifting her off the ground to carry her. He moved her to their shared bed in the hidden clubhouse he'd built for himself all those years ago that they now shared, as if it were their own little house. Kit whimpered way there, which to Olaf was a both adorable and heartbreaking sound.

He laid her down and immediately reached inside a drawer, pulling out the type of medical bandage a doctor would use. He grabbed her arms roughly, to show that he was still upset with her, watching her face fall even more in response, and began to wrap the bandage around the length of her arm.

Once he'd finished, successfully denying her access to her arms, he'd simply tucked her into bed, kissing her cheek lightly and leaving the room.

As soon as he'd closed the door behind him, he broke. All the tears he'd been holding back came flowing to the surface and cascaded down his face. He knew he'd been harsh with her, which definitely wasn't helping the situation. But he'd had so many emotions well up inside of him, all eventually manifesting as anger.

He loved her.

Something he'd never truly felt for anyone else. And now it was as if she were slipping away from him, on purpose. He wasn't really angry with her, just upset and terrified and sad. He wanted to fix her, but he wasn't quite sure how.

He knew it ran deeper than just the popularity game. She was full on broken inside. Something building up inside her for years that she'd been forced to hide with a mask of strength and nobility. The mask the godforsaken organization made everyone put on.

Now she'd been given someone who, for the first time, expected nothing of her, seeing her as wonderful and acceptable just as she was. She wasn't obligated to work for him, or present herself in a certain way to him. He loved her simply because she was her.

He learned, slowly, that she didn't know how to process it. She was already hurt from the stress piling up from the other parts of her life, and now here was this new element.

And now this new element was attempting to uproot everything she'd already convinced herself to true. Olaf was there now telling her how wonderful she was and how much she meant to him, and she felt as if she had done nothing to deserve it. Even if she had, she felt as if love was something she didn't deserve in general. For some reason, she'd deemed herself unworthy of it.

So, without meaning to, Olaf had worsened her self destructive habits. She never spoke to him of it, only continuing to verbally degrade herself as much as possible, as if expecting to spark something in him that would cause him to "wake up" and realize she was "awful" and leave her. Attempting to create her own self fulfilled prophecy.

But she'd began to harm herself more and more, the more he complimented her and insisted on finding her attractive and interesting. She just couldn't understand how someone could love her, which stung Olaf inside.

He wept and wept as he began removing all sharp objects he could find. He hid the knives in the kitchen and threw anything else he found into the fireplace.

He still didn't understand it all. Why couldn't she see how wonderful she was. He could see it, easily. He looked at her and saw nothing but perfection. She was the only person who he could bare to be around. The only one he wished to be around.

He stalked his way back to the room and found her there, letting some tears of her own fall down her cheeks.

"You're angry with me," she sobbed quietly, although she'd spoken loud enough for him to hear.

Olaf had shushed her, softly, and brought her into an embrace. The two of the them held onto each other, exchanging sobs.

He kept her close to him after that. Having discovered more cuts on her thighs, he never let her out of his sight.

The more he was around her, the further he could see into her mind and her perception of herself. He noticed the glances she took towards girls she deemed more beautiful than her and often balled up her training work, giving herself paper cuts on the edges.

She tried to find little ways to harm herself. Whether it was scraping her arm against a sharp corner of a desk or purposely stubbing her toe. He'd always snap at her every time she did and did his best to find some way to prevent her from being able to.

He'd considered himself pretty successful in that aspect. Thought he was making progress, at least when it came to preventing her from doing it, even if she still longed to.

But, of course, she'd outsmarted him.

What got to him the most was that it was happening right in front of his eyes. They spent almost their entire day together now, so he would've had plenty of time to notice it. She'd been doing it right in front of him, for God's sake.

But yet, it wasn't until earlier that week that he finally noticed.

The girl was terrifyingly underweight.

He found out later that she'd been putting different kinds of padding underneath her clothing, to make herself appear to be larger than she was.

She'd easily fooled him into thinking she was eating. He felt like an idiot for not noticing. She hardly ever spoke to him, only replying with short answers, during all other parts of the day. But when lunch rolled around, she suddenly became quite the talker.

She'd cut her food up and discuss some random book she'd read recently, in quite a rapid fashion, wave her fork around and offer him food, claiming it was delicious even though she hadn't taken a single bite.

He'd called right for it. He must've been simply glad she was finally talking to him, that he'd forgotten to notice the oddness of her manner.

He'd only found out after having seen her abdomen for the first time. Yes, he'd tried before, longing to be intimate with her.

Yes, he saw her as more than just her body, but it didn't stop the fact that was a boy well into his teens. He was attracted to her in all ways, which included physical.

But she knew she was far from being mentally stable enough for something like sex. So he allowed her to continue to cover up her body from head to toe. Wearing the same long sleeved shirts and skirts that dragged the floor.

It wasn't until yesterday, where she'd taken quite a nasty fall, having missed the last stair and falling down onto her side on the concrete, that he'd finally seen the problem.

She'd been fine, simply wincing from the pain, as he'd carried her back to the clubhouse. But as soon as he announced that he'd have to examine her side, she became oddly defensive, insisting that she was fine.

After a long confrontation between the two, Kit had finally given in, sighing and refusing to look at him as she lifted up her shirt. He remembers coughing when he first saw it, having chocked on the saliva in his mouth.

She looked terribly sickly.

He could the outline of all of her ribs and bones poking through her skin. He'd slowly ran his fingers across them, taking in the sight and trying to process it in his mind.

He became angry with her, then himself. How had he let this slip by him? Why hadn't he noticed?

He looked up at her and she looked away from him.

He narrowed his eyes slightly and simply got up from the floor, where they'd been sitting, and walked into the kitchen and started cooking.

He cooked and cooked and cooked.

Kit eventually walked into the room, rubbing her eyes from the nap she'd taken, although he could tell she'd been crying before hand as well. She immediately paused when she spotted the dining table, which was FULL of different dishes. From pastas to chicken to bread to salads and vegetables...everything anyone could name was there.

She stared at the food and then at him, standing there with his arms folded.

"I made dinner," he said simply, walking over to pull out her chair for her, gesturing towards it.

She walked over slowly, never breaking eye contact with him as she sat down. Her eyes were filled with shock, nervousness, and general fear.

They spent dinner staring at each other, across the many plates of food scattering the table. Olaf messily slurping on the spaghetti he'd chosen and Kit picking at the five green-beans on her plate. Olaf had grabbed many items from the table and put them on her plate, but so far Kit had barely even glanced at them.

He'd finished his pasta and she'd only consumed two of the green beans.

She kept looking up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to let her leave the table without consuming anymore, but he'd always narrow his eyes at her, signaling that he wouldn't allow her to.

So, it left them where they were now. Hours and hours having passed since they first sat down and she had yet to eat anymore.

Another hour having just passed and Olaf growing tired of her childishness.

"Olaf...please," Kit begged quietly. It was the first word she'd spoken since they'd sat down.

"You're not getting up from this fucking table until you eat all of something," Olaf said, his voice calm but possessing a dangerous tone.

Kit sighed, looking down at her lap and dropping her fork onto her plate.

Olaf couldn't do it anymore.

"This is ridiculous," he mumbled, before standing up and marching over to her. He grabbed the fork and twirled some spaghetti onto it, holding it up to her mouth.

"Just fucking eat something," he said. He tried to sound strong, but the desperation leaked through his voice.

"I'm already so fat though-" Kit began, her voice soft and sad.

"No, you're not, darling," Olaf sighed, his voice having dropped its anger and simply possessing the lovingness he felt for her, "you're awfully skinny. Too skinny. You look malnourished. You must eat something, I beg."

"I'm fine, Olaf," Kit mumbled, glancing over to him for a split second.

"You're not fine, dear," he said, breaking into tears in front of her for the first time, "you're not fine and you haven't been fine for a long time. I've tried my best to let you live, as I myself get quite annoyed with others trying to order me around, but we can't continue like this. You're sick, darling. Mentally, and now physically. And whether you believe me or not, you must understand that it hurts me more than it's hurting you."

Kit was looking directly at him now, her own eyes welling up with tears.

"I'm so sorry, darling. I destroy everything I'm around," Kit whimpered, "I should leave-"

"No!" Olaf said quickly, grabbing her arms, "I need you. I can't take this anymore."

He put his head down in defeat, pulling her into an embrace.

"I'd die if I lost you," he mumbled into her hair.

He swore this girl would be the death of him. He'd never cried so much in his life, but the past few months with her had opened up a new side of him that even he didn't know existed. He was desperate. He felt that if he didn't do something, he'd lose her for good. He'd never cared for something as much as he did for her.

He wanted to save the one thing he had.

"I don't know what to do, Olaf," Kit cried clinging onto him, her words slightly muffled by his chest.

He rubbed her back while she sobbed into his chest, protecting her with his arms from the world around her that's caused her so much pain and exhaustion.

"Kit, look at me," he commanded, lifting her chin to meet her eyes.

"Eat," He said, never breaking eye contact with her as he grabbed her fork from her plate once more, "eat this bite of pasta, and then finish the green beans and I'll let you leave."

Kit winced as she looked at the food on the fork. He felt her body shaking, violently, as he brought the fork to her mouth.

She pulled it off the fork quickly, a look of disgust taking over her face as she felt it slide down her throat.

"Good girl," he encouraged, a smile creeping its way onto her face.

He bent down and placed a kiss on her lips, for the first time. Kit blinked in shock after they'd broken apart, looking at him with wide bright eyes, before looking away in embarrassment.

Olaf ran a finger across her cheek, which had developed a small blush, lightly. He'd forgotten how much he admired her smile...a thing he didn't get to see often.

"Look Kit, I absolutely despise psychiatrists," he began carefully, "but, I can't fix you by myself. I've tried. Trust me, I have. I wanted to make you better without getting anyone else involved. I wanted to keep you away from anyone I thought would try and take you from me. But, I can't let you go on like this. You need help."

"I know," Kit mumbled quietly, clearly still not wanting to admit it, but knowing she had no other choice.

"I love you," Olaf said into her ear.

He felt the air leave her lungs in shock at his words. He didn't expect her to reply, knowing she probably didn't believe him anyways.

"I...I-I love you...too," she said, looking around as if she couldn't believe she'd actually said it.

She didn't know it, but Olaf was just as shocked.

"Look, we'll start small, okay?" Olaf offered, smiling at the girl.

"Okay," she agreed, taking another small, cautious bite of her food.

"Olaf...I feel awful and I don't know why. I feel like I can't do anything right, like I'm always letting everyone down," she admitted, sadly.

"I know, dear," Olaf comforted, stroking her hair lightly, "I'll help you, I promise. You could never let me down, darling. Everything you do is perfect to me."

"When did you become so selfless?" Kit chuckled, hugging him tightly.

"Oh, I haven't," he replied, smirking, "the world could crumble around me and I couldn't care less. I've saved all my nobility for you, my dear."

"Of course, my mistake," she sighed, smiling and rolling her eyes.

She'd never joked around with him this much. It was nice.

"We should invite some friends over," Kit suggested, after a long moment of silence between, "there's no way we're gonna eat all that food."


End file.
